The Internet is for Porn
by sajere1
Summary: Tai asks Izzy what Trigonometry Trivia is. When Izzy refuses to tell him, he makes some assumptions...and then Kari starts singing. Songfic, oneshot


"Sooooooo."

Izzy's eyes narrow at the confident smirk on his best friend's face. Tai smirking - much less Tai smirking _for a reason_ - is never a good sign, especially when Izzy is in the room. "So what?" he asks as he makes some firewall adjustments on his computer; he really doesn't want his parents getting into his stuff, and if he makes the right adjustments getting into the Digiworld should take less time. You know, just in case another psycho takes over...or something. Joe, Matt, and TK are also gathered in their 'honorable leader's' room, just lounging about and killing time.

"So what's Trigonometry Trivia?" he asks with a grin. Izzy, who has just drank some of Mrs. Kamiya's God-knows-what, has to work hard not to do a spit take. When he finally swallows, Tai and the blondes are howling and even Joe is biting his lip to keep from laughing.

"What do you think it is?" the red head demands, whole face flaming up. The group snickers as he glares at each in turn. "It's a _game_. About _math._ That's it."

"Are you sure," Matt asks dramatically, "that it's not a cover-up...a cover-up for..." he gasps loudly. "Oh, Izzy! You _wouldn't_...would you?"

"Wouldn't what?"

"Watch porn," TK interjects before Matt can kill the cliche any more. "These guys think that 'Trigonometry Trivia' is a code for porn...and to be honest, so do I."

It's really rather amusing to watch the colors Izzy's face turns; first deathly pale, then blotchy red, then dark purple and afterwards a sickly green. "You all think I watch PORN?" he demands rather loudly.

"Excuse me?" Kari pops her head into the room and the boys scramble to put on convincing innocent faces; she doesn't buy any of them but Izzy's who looks as if he's about to throw up. "Iz, are you feeling all right? Maybe you should go home."

"I'm fine," Izzy chokes out. "We were just, uh, talking about the..._Internet._" Matt snickers behind his hand.

Kari's face lights up like a Christmas tree. "Oh, I love the Internet!" she squeals, jumping enthusiastically into the room.

And to everyone's horror, she begins to _sing_.

"_The Internet is really really great!_" she chants.

"_For porn!"_ Tai snickers. Kari glares at him.

_"I've got a fast connection so I don't have to wait!_" she continues anyway.

"_For porn!__" _he challenges, and a sort of mental battle ensues between the siblings as the others watch on in awe...except Izzy, who has currently burrowed his head in a pillow to hide his complete embarrassment.

_"There's always some new site - "_

_"For porn!"_

_"You can browse all day and night - "_

_"For porn!"_

_"It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light!"_

_"For porn!"_

"Taichi!" Kari hisses, glaring as Tai goes into an apparently off-the-top-of-his-head chorus.

_"The Internet is for porn,_" he sings with a grin, _"the Internet is for porn, why d'you think the 'net was born? Porn, porn, porn!"_

"Tai, I am _trying_ to sing my song," she hisses angrily, hands on her hips as she glares; TK immediately flinches away. That's the 'If you fuck with me I will wound you' look, which he has seen used on Davis many, many times.

"Don't let me stop you," he grins in reply, sitting back and relaxing. Izzy throws the pillow back onto the bed, face a little less red than before, though when Tai winks at him it heats up all over again.

She watches him suspiciously before smiling a returning to her song. "_I'm glad we have this new technology!"_

_"For porn!"_

"Taichi - " she says through grit teeth before forcing a smile and continuing. _"Which gives us untold opportunity - "_

_"For porn!"_

"I'll get it," Joe sighs, scooting closer to his friend as Kari seethes.

_"And from your own desktop - "_

_"For - _" Joe's hand covers the brown-haired teen's mouth before he can finish that phrase, earning a mildly sadistic grin from the girl. The room shudders.

_"You can research, browse, and shop._" Taichi makes an irritated noise from behind the hand. _"Until you've had enough and you're ready to stop!"_

"OW!" Joe yells, snapping his hand back. "He bit me!" he says in total shock, staring at the boy who has stood and burst loudly back into the song.

_"FOR PORN!"_

"Taichi!"

_"THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN._" He takes no heed of his sister. _"THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN. I'M UP ALL NIGHT HONKING MY HORN TO PORN, PORN, PORN._" Izzy promptly bursts into laughter and has to hide his face in the pillow again before anyone can make fun of him. Tai grins triumphantly.

"Eeeeew!" Kari makes a face. "That's gross!"

"Sticks and stones make break my bones," her brother teases, sticking his tongue out.

"No, I mean that's really gross." She shudders visibly. "_Normal_ people don't sit at home and look at porn."

The entire room is suddenly filled with very, very awkward as the boys (well, all bit Izzy) fidget in their seats. "Oh?" Tai asks, quirking his eyebrows. "You have no idea. READY, NORMAL PEOPLE?"

"Ready," Matt stands.

"Ready," Joe mumbles meekly.

"Ready!" TK cheers.

"LEMME HEAR IT!" Tai yells, and they all burst into song. At the same time. Because they can.

_"The internet is for porn!"_

_"Please don't hate..." _TK mutters.

_"The internet is for porn!"_

_"I masturbate!"_ her boyfriend adds, grinning and earning more wild laughter from the ginger genius by the bed.

_"All these guys unzip their flies for porn, porn, porn!"_ Tai grins. _"PORN, PORN - _"

"HOLD ON A SECOND!" Kari shrieks and they all shut up; she puts her hands on her hips and glares at the four slightly immature teens, all of whom look caught in the act of something like stealing chocolate. "Now, I happen to know for a fact that _you,_ Joe, check your portfolio and trade stocks online," she points out.

"That's correct," Joe agrees easily.

"AndMatt, _you_ keep selling yourself on ebay."

"Your point?"

"And _you,_ TK, happen to have send me that very nice e-card last week," she continues as if she hasn't heard the blonde's question TK blushes and mutters something undoubtedly adorable.

"But Kari," Tai grins. "What do you think he did _afterwards?_"

The others snicker as the youngest gives a deep sigh. "Yeah..." he mumbles, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck as Kari screams in indignation.

_"The internet is for porn!"_ Even Izzy joins them for the grand finale, which earns some looks of surprise but also a knowing look on Tai's face, which is creepy because just does _not_ know things. _"The internet is for porn! Grab your dick and double click for porn, porn, porn! Porn! Porn!"_

"I'M LEAVING," Kari yells stomping out; even though she's left, the boys finish their song.

_"The internet is for, internet is for, internet is for porn!_"

There is a pause in which they all grin at each other before Tai's eyebrows raise. "Soooooo..." he hums.

"No." The group laughs as Tai pouts and Izzy returns to his computer.

* * *

><p>AHAHAHAHA shot

I'm not bothering to go back and edit it. It's essentially meant to be funny, so typos shouldn't bother many people.

Hints of Takari. Also, I guess you could say Taishiro if you squint really really really really really really really hard, and maybe turn your head a little to the left, and then close your eyes...yeah, then it looks like Taishiro.

But yeah. No editing, so don't yell at me for bad writing or descriptions or whatever. I really just wanted to write the idea before it drove me completely insane.

I don't own Digimon or Avenue Q, or I would be a millionare.


End file.
